1.  When you are drunk, you just THINK you play like Eric Clapton. When in  fact, you sound like Big Bird on a zither.

2. Bands are still making the same money they did 25 years ago.

3. People don't want to hear your 10 minute guitar/drum/bass solo no  matter how good you think it is.

4. People will always say you are too loud and they are usually right.

5. Most people are not there to listen to the band.

6. You may think you're the opening act but you're really the sound check.

7. Everyone wants to hear "Mustang Sally" no matter how many times you've  played it in the past.

8. Secretly you enjoy playing "Mustang Sally" cause it's easy to solo over.

9. A good way to send people to the restroom is to announce the next song  is an original.

10. When you are hired to play an event what they really hired was the use of your PA.

11. At the end of the gig most folks couldn't tell you three songs you played the entire night.

12. The more complex a song is the less people want to hear it.

13. Most people don't even know the name of your band.

14. People will enjoy a bad band if they at least act like they are having  a good time on stage.

15. Anything having to do with music takes a back seat when your first child is born, (band members without children will never understand this  one).

16. At some point someone will request "Freebird". It doesn't matter if  you play a banjo in a Spanish band & wear a sombrero, it's going to happen.

17. "Girlfriends" with tambourines are annoying.

18. Anyone with a tambourine is annoying, (this includes cowbells).

19. The "Chicken Dance" & "Play that Funky Music White Boy" are staples at  weddings. Live with it.

20. If you play enough bars & beer joints, you will eventually get the ugliest woman in attendance.